Still, it’s important to remember that even if you are open to developing good relationships, you can't expect everyone else to jump onto the same page with you, and not everyone will be open to delving into a closer bond - that’s why maintaining your existing friendships is so key. Try focusing on cultivating that closeness with others by setting intentional time to just be together - taking a walk with each other or going for coffee with no phones in sight. It isn’t always enough to just be around someone if you aren’t connecting authentically. “The desire to be relatable is what connects us to others and lessens our feelings of loneliness,” Ezelle says. In other words, if something in a friendship or romantic relationship isn’t clicking as you want it to, you might wind up feeling unfulfilled. "If my relationship with someone didn’t have that element of closeness, it tended to make me feel more isolated than just being alone,” she explains. Relationship coach Kira Asatryn tells Bustle that loneliness is a complicated affair: it might actually mean you’re longing for connection, not just more people around you. You Feel Lonely Because You Crave Closeness Check-in with yourself to see if any of these five reasons you feel alone resonate with you because the more you know about what’s going on when you’re lonesome, the more you can help yourself feel better.
I WANNA BE ALONE ALONE WITH YOU HOW TO
And figuring out how to feel less lonely depends partly on why you feel lonely, to begin with. That’s all to say - if you’re thinking “Why do I feel so alone?” when you’re at a perfectly pleasant park hang, there are plenty of others in the same boat. Young adults, according to Weissbourd, may be particularly susceptible as they transition from their “inherited families to their chosen families.”Īs we transition back into being around people, the feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and anxiety that have percolated are likely to hang around. If you look at other studies on the elderly, their rates of loneliness are high, but they don’t seem to be as high as they are for young people.” This could be due to many reasons–perhaps younger people are not used to these feelings or experienced sitting with loneliness, so the feelings have come as a shock. Richard Weissbourd, a psychologist and senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education (HGSE) who helped lead the research, said: “I was surprised at the degree of loneliness among young people. The same study also found that, while older people often feel more lonely, young adults have been the hardest hit by loneliness throughout lockdowns. The events of the last couple of years largely made folks feel even more isolated, with 36% of Americans surveyed feeling lonely pretty much all the time, according to a study released in February 2021 by Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common Project. feel lonely on a regular basis, especially folks who said they didn’t have close friendships that make them feel safe and loved. According to a survey released by health insurer Cigna in January 2020, three in five people in the U.S. Loneliness has been on the rise in the United States since 2018, NPR reports. Loneliness is not mutually exclusive to being around others. “Sometimes sitting in a feeling of loneliness can illuminate things you would like to do to feel better.” Plus, being alone doesn’t necessarily mean feeling lonely - many people feel fulfilled by being alone. “When you feel alone you may feel disconnected from others although there are people that are available to you.” By contrast, feeling lonely when you’re around other people can be your body’s response to not getting your needs met, says Ezelle. “ Being lonely is a feeling, whereas being alone is tangible and concrete,” says Sherese Ezelle, L.M.H.C., licensed behavioral therapist at One Medical. Figuring out why you feel lonely even when you’re not alone can help you feel more in tune with the people around you - and with yourself. For other people, those same scenarios would create a deep sense of loneliness and isolation. The tricky thing about feelings is that they're different for everyone: Some people, for example, are perfectly fine having few friends or enjoy spending a great deal of time alone. But you’re still feeling alone, as though you’re a thousand miles away from everyone else emotionally.
In theory, the brunch you’re at is going great - you’re surrounded by nice people, good food, hilarious conversation.
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